Quote:
The Doctor: Why? Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?
When I heard this quote, my mind just raced. Imagine - loving someone so much that no mater what they did to you - that you are capable of seeing through the act, and understand the reason. This one quote alone just fills my heart up, and there is so much I could write.
First, let me add a bit of context to the quote:
Clara is the companion to the Doctor. In this moment, Clara has faced a grief greater than she can
comprehend, let alone deal with. The man she loved (Mr. Pink) has just been killed. She was on the phone with him when he died. He died crossing the street, talking to her on the phone. You can imagine the pain, grief, guilt and everything else that was going through Clara's heart and mind.
Clara struggles with Mr. Pink's death for days, unwilling to let her emotions go. She ultimately decides to prevail upon the Doctor to make him change the past. She suggests that they visit an active volcano. Clara then secretly collects all seven TARDIS keys. After the TARDIS arrives, she incapacitates the Doctor with a sleep-inducing patch. Once the Doctor wakes up at the volcano, locked out of the TARDIS, Clara throws the keys one by one into the lava - the only way to destroy them (shades of LOTR).
Clara says she will not stop unless the Doctor agrees to save Danny (Mr. Pink). The doctor insists that saving Mr. Pink would create a time paradox that could destroy all of them. As he continues to refuse, Clara throws each key into the volcano, one by one. Finally - the last key. The doctor refuses again and Clara tosses that key into the lava - completing her betrayal of the doctor.
She falls to her knees after the last key is thrown. I believe in that one moment - Clara believed that not only had she betrayed the Doctor, but she had also betrayed her beloved Mr. Pink. This make her grief almost more than she could bare. Beyond this, I think Clara realizes that she has betrayed even herself in that moment. In those personal revelations, Clara finds herself in the self same hell that is represented by the heat, volcano and lava that is all around her. She has made this hell, it is of her own doing.
Also, I see this message... in allowing our emotions to control our actions, even in the worst of moment, we may well take away from ourselves the last opportunity of hope in a mindless, grief stricken act. In her act, Clara took away the only thing that could have ever helped her to get what she hoped for - the TARDIS. In throwing away the keys, all hope of recovering Mr. Pink were gone. She left the doctor no opportunity to reconsider his decision or think better of it. In her emotional pain and resulting outburst, she destroyed the only possible solution.
Yet, in all of this, as she cries, Clara confesses that she would have done it all over again, the same way. The represents, to me, a simple fact. That in our grief and pain, we sometimes just are not capable of understanding the magnitude of our ill-thought actions. It may be after a while we will realize, but it might also be that we will never realize just how bad the decisions that were made really were.
And then everything changes.
After Clara throws in the last key, we find that she was the one with the sleep patch, and that the patch does not have any effect on the doctor. Clara is now at the bottom of the pit, there is no where else to go. She expects that the doctor will simply put her out as a result of her betrayal. When the doctor says they are going to hell, Clara believes that he means he is taking her there. Then, there is this dialogue between the two of them. I personally believe that this might be among the finest dialogue in Dr. Who, perhaps any video media ever. It is strong, powerful and with deep meaning. It is who we are, and who we should be in the face of betrayal.
It is a clear and unmistakable message to Clara from the Doctor..
The Doctor: Clara? You asked me what we're going to do, I told ya. We're going to go to hell,
or wherever it is people go when they die, if there is anywhere. Whatever it is we're gonna go
there and we're gonna find Danny. And if it is in any way possible, we're going to bring him home.
Every culture has a concept of an afterlife. I always meant to have a look around, see if I could find one.
Clara: You're going to help me?
The Doctor: Well, why wouldn't I help you?
Clara: Because of what I just did, I just...
The Doctor: You betrayed me. You betrayed our trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for. You let me down!
Clara: Then why are you helping me?
The Doctor: Why? Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?
There, the doctor reveals his inner most self. He reveals the perfect reaction to the betrayal by one we say we love. If we truly love someone, then we will see beyond the betrayal. We will allow our caring, our love and our patience to intercede when we might otherwise allow pain, anger, confusion and disappointment become the ruler of our minds and hearts.
So, when people are surprised that I do not feel any anger, animosity or hate towards the person who betrayed me.... Maybe you understand now. In the end, loving someone is the central theme and everything else is periphery. That, my friends, is true love.
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